Beware of geeks bearing GIFs. Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ? Apple Festival, Murphysboro's Very Own, Sept. 12-15th Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens. I think, therefore I am... I think. Regardless of what you may think, this is NOT a tagline. Hey! Don't pick up that pho╫»╗Æßë╜├╥τ ■ <-- Put complaints in this box. I lurk quietly and carry a big OFF/ON switch. Just another dull moment in Norfolk, Nebraska Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate Whip me, beat me, make me write bad software. An Elephant: A mouse Built to Government Standards My message above. Your response here ____________. The dog ate my .REP packet. --- A naked man fears no pickpocket --- Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIA I/O --==**> Real Programmers Practice Safe HEX <**==-- Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat! If you can't make it good, make it big. Quote Serial No.10397 - (C) 1991, All rights reserved I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now! Feel lucky???? Update your software! OVERDRAWN? What the hell?, I still have checks left! "Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk" - Curly Howard 668 - Neighbor of the Beast Friendly fire - ISN'T ! The PS/2 Model 30-286 was designed on a Monday Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots. All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. All I want to know is: WHY ME? If it isn't borken, don't fix it. ?tagline? Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Pick two: [1] Fast [2] Right [3] Cheap Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, its off to the institution I go! C:\> SWEEP ECHO Y|DEL *.* <───┘ Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?? Do you like me for my brain, or my baud? ((((((((HYPNOTIC))))))))((((((QUOTE)))))))) "Where does he get all those marvelous toys?" - Bush Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted! Genuine Exploding Quote. Acme Quote Inc. Got Kleptomania? Take something for it! Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ... The CLOCK$ stops here. Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees! The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain! If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny. Fact: Fourteen out of every ten people like chocolate. "The more RAM you have, the better", M. Chambers Baker, Swaggart...Only 3 To Go! Help! I'm a prisoner in a quote factory! Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets. Make friends with sysops: page at 3 a.m. all wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? Spindle & Multilate - See if I care.. Computer protected by a PIT BULL with AIDS! IBM PS/1 ? - A Prodigy Workstation ! The worst thing about censorship is ██████████. Born Free....TAXED TO DEATH! I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? A cynic smells the flowers and looks for the casket. Be American, Buy American - and CHARGE IT! "If the shoe fits, buy it." - Imelda Marcos You can't MobyTurbo with an internal Z! 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW. Multitasking causes schizophrenia.. Resistance Is Useless! (If < 1 ohm) Yea, yea..once a hobby, now an expensive addiction! "Junior, quit playing with your floppy!" When is a mouse a rat? When it eats memory! Hard DISK? Gee lady, I misunderstood you. --T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-- Winter is Natures way of saying, "Up Yours!" PCBored? Call the Kevin BBS tonight! Horn busted! Watch for finger........ Modem sex begins with a handshake. ACK and you shall receive. I'm just trying out this quote. It's not registered yet Communism is like one big phone company. (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the friggin thing MR DUCKS. MR NOT! OSAR--CD WINGS? LIB! MR DUCKS! Anything free is worth what you pay for it. PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR Pi R Squared? No. Pie R round, Cornbread R square! Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up. This is a fried egg on drugs. Any questions? IBM stands for "Inferior But Marketable" Uh oh. Your zip file is open! Answers: $1, Correct answers: $5, Dumb looks: Free! Homework time limit exceeded. Auto logon in effect! When Puns Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Puns Sign Here: __________________________________ τhï ï ¥öÜΓ möδεM Θ∩ δΓÜgs Bit Decay!? Yoù say ÿou håve Bï┬ Dεçay¿ Do *you* know what Otto Titzling invented? Happiness is a warm modem. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic System Crash (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup Tried to call Phoenix, I misdialed FIJI ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII !enif tsuj si gnihtyrevE I should've bbs'ed all night Where's the ANY key? C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. There is no gravity. The earth sucks. ...A penny saved is a Congressional oversight. Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo! And this 2-record disco set, only from K-TEL! If at first you don't succeed, *.* & forget it I [] My Dog. I [] My Cat. Click...click...click..damn, out of quotes! ┼ I'm usually awake near the end of the day ┼ When in doubt, mumble. It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a Creditors have much better memories than debtors. The Buck stops here, the Dough just visits.. Black holes are where God divided by zero. Bugs are Sons of Glitches! "To err is human, to forgive....$5.00" Exploding piglets!!! My god, it's raining bacon! Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra? The buck doesn't even slow down here! Enquiring minds couldn't care less! My cat's name is: 'Winky, The One-Eyed Wonder Kitty' ----------This Quote is blank to save space------------ NAK NAK, "Who's There?" #@#^#$%#(#@^ NO CARRIER Thhis quofe iz slitely out of cofus. Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol %QUOTE% Mail your ideas written on the back of a $20 bill to... Ultimate office automation: Networked coffee machines! I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night. Honest Ma, I got it from a toilet seat... A day without sunshine is like night. Quotes make great Christmas gifts. Sex is natural, but not if its done right! A yer ao I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won. Survival Tip #2: Never MOON a werewolf. MacIntosh: Computer With Training Wheels You Can't Remove CompuCrumb SPUDModem Detected; System hanging up now... Heads, up Boise! Incoming spuds! E = mc² ± 2 dB Mental floss prevents moral decay. Support your right to keep and arm bears! Bits make bites, but nibbles turn me on! Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of vice-presidents. A fool and his money are soon popular. Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven! Ivo Andric, Yugoslavia's first Nobel laureate The Bigger the Drive,the more Junk Collected Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry. Do Quarter Horses have only one leg???? It's Ensign Pillsbury, Jim. He's bread. It's 10PM, Do you know where your software is?? Me, indecisive? I'm not so sure about that. DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" ); I'll byte your bits if you'll nybble my words This is abuse, arguments are down the hall. ALT1.BBS: Fatal error at F000:DEAD, dropping...(click) To iterate is human; to recurse, divine. DSZ speed 300 ha ha ha tee hee hee rz -ZZZZZZZZ Computer protected by a PIT BULL with AIDS IF Software = STOLEN THEN Insult(Thief) ** ERROR ** Unable to insert witty quote. In the end, gravity wins -- Dolly Parton I give up, what is the meaning of life? I am in total control, but don't tell my life "Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg. ┬├┤ís ìs εñç┌ÿ₧εδ Biochemists wear designer genes My reality check just bounced. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? Sysop not found! Please notify computer CON is the opposite of PRO - i.e. Congress and Progress ONLINE? Hit <ALT+H> for a quick I.Q. Test! I multitask... I read in the bathroom! I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it? We all live in a yellow subroutine. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? Hard Work never killed anyone, so why chance it? Aural Sex produces eargasms This quote intentionally left blank IBM DOS 4 Is a computer language with GOTO's totally Wirth-less? He who hesitates is last A man's house is his hassle. An engineer is someone who does list processing in Fortran. A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs. GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error. Reality is for people who can't face science fiction. Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience. Shift to the left, shift to the right, mask in, mask out... BYTE People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues. Friction is a drag. Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory. Biology grows on you. A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese. A man's best friend is his dogma. A penny saved is ridiculous Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. That does not compute. No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it. Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way! Schizophrenia beats being alone. To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. If you have nothing to do, don't do it here. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? He who laughs last didn't get the joke. Old musicians never die, they just de-compose. We have a equal opportunity Calculus class -- it's fully integrated. Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic. If it works, Don't fix it. He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut. Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over. Gravity brings me down. Everyone is entitled to my opinion. Help stamp out and abolish redundancy! Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your The cost of feathers has risen.... Now even down is up! Three can keep a secret, if two are dead. Morfy's law - Enythink thit ken go rong willl. Mount St. Helens should have used earth control. He who laughs last is probably your boss. It is hard to fly with the eagle when s you work with the turkeys. Basic is a high level languish. Prunes give you a run for your money. Drilling for oil is boring. Eat prune yogurt for that "get up and go" feeling. Teachers have class. Constants aren't; variables don't. You ain't learning nothing when you're talking. Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react. Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split. Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax. Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing. Celibacy is NOT hereditary. On a clear disk you can seek forever. Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait. Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid. Weekend, where are you?? Individualists unite! Money is the root of all wealth. Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art. The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away. Happiness is twin floppies. Happiness is a hard disk. If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture. If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane! Recursive, adj.; see Recursivee An expert is someone from out of town. F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM! Poverty begins at home. In case of fire, yell "FIRE!" Postmen never die, they just lose their zip. Rubber bands have snappy endings! Old frogs never die, But they do croak! COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance. Every time I lose weight, It finds me again! It works better if you plug it in. It won't work. Experience varies directly with the amount of equipment ruined. Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way. In the mathematics for electronics, variables won't; constants aren't. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Whom computers would destroy they must first drive insane . Clones are people two. Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic? It's quite uncanny. Going the speed of light is bad for your age. There's no future in time travel. Take an astronaut to launch. Jealousy is all the fun you think they have. Xerox never comes up with anything original. Small programs are for small minds. All programmers want arrays! Two can live as cheaply as one,for half as long. Psychiatrists stay on your mind. Astronauts get missile-toe. If your feet smell and your nose runs-you're built upside down. Part-time musicians are semiconductors. Interchangeable parts won't. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. If this is timesharing, give me my share right now. Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know. He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a bloody fool. Practiss makes perfict. The devil finds work for idle glands. A friend in need is a pest indeed. Genius is ten percent inspiration and fifty percent capital gains. The best things in life are for a fee. Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order. People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses. Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot. Astronauts are out to launch. There is no such thing as a "Fail Safe" design. No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck. Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa. Remember,/ the paper is always strongest at the perforations. A closed mouth gathers no feet. Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to. Smile! Things can only get worse. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance. Ill play with it first and tell you what it is later. Just because everything is different doesnt mean anything has changed. I never loved another person the way I loved myself. It is a rather pleasent experience to be alone in a bank at night. Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. Anything anybody can say about America is true. you cant underestimate the power of fear. The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. College isnt the place to go for ideas. Nothing is lost until you begin to look for it. The road to success is always under construction Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way Life is not so much a matter of position as of disposition The best vitamin for making friends_ B-1 If you don't care where you're going, any road will get you there A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice He who throws mud losses ground No one raises his reputation by lowering others Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks Ideas won't work unless you do The future is purchased by the present One thing you cannot recycle is wasted time A hard thing about business is minding your own Triumph is just "umph" added to try Caution is not cowardly... Carelessness is not courage Children need more models than critics Frogs have it easy_ they can eat what bugs them Lost time is never found again The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime If the going gets easy you may be going downhill Dieters - People that are thick and tired of it Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise The best labor saving device is doing it tomorrow A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out Failure is the path of least persistence Hard work is the yeast that raises dough Patience is counting down without blasting off Some folks will not look up untill they are flat on their backs If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep Friend - one who knows all about you and likes you just the same Money talks_ and often just says, "Goodbye!" Birds have bills too, and they keep on singing Forbidden fruit is responsible for many a bad jam God's retirement plan is out of this world A good example is the best sermon Well done! is better than Well said! Minds are like parachutes_ they function only when open Swallowing your pride seldom leads to indigestion If you can laugh at it, then you can live with it People don't fail, they give up When looking for faults use a mirror, not a telescope Smile, it takes only thirteen muscles; A frown takes sixty four Kindness, a language deaf people can hear and the blind can see Heaviest thing to carry - a grudge A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor A small leak can sink a great ship You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves Tact is the ability to see others as they wish to be seen A bad conscience has a very good memory Hug your kids at home - belt them in the car The one thing you can give and still keep_ is your word A friend walks in when everyone else walks out If you must cry over spilled milk then please try to condense it Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image Its not the load that breaks you down, its the way you carry it The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention Success is... more attitude than aptitude Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important Having a sharp tongue can cut your own throat 2\3 of promotion is motion Anger is one letter short of danger greatest remedy for anger is delay Success comes in cans; Failure comes in can'ts Procratination is the thief of time Our favorite attitude should be gratitude The greatest of all faults is to imagine you have none Too many of us speak twice before we think Some people develope eye strain looking for trouble Everyone has 20\20 hindsight The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts It is much easier to be critical than to be correct Feed your faith and doubt will starve to death It is no crime to be less than perfect If others have sinned_ you need not mention it No one knows less than the person who knows it all Patience carries a lot of wait One who lacks courage to start has already finished A quitter never wins; A winner never quits Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often Break a bad habit - drop it Don't learn safety rules simply by accident By failing to prepare we prepare to fail Past failures are guideposts for future success There is no right way to do a wrong thing Money is a good servant but a cruel master Seek joy in what you give not in what you get The coldest winter I ever spend was a summer in San Fransicso When I feel the urge to exercise, I lie down until it passes away. Giving up smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times. Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
